~Early morning snowy home view from the lower pasture~
Where does the time go any more? I am very grateful for the extra daylight! Last year was one of our most challenging years emotionally, physically, and even spiritually. My hubby works endlessly to keep us moving forward towards our goal. I can see his tiredness, and especially now when the outside temperatures drop into the low 20's. You see, our house is not designed to be heated by a wood stove only (the stove requires wood about every 2 hours when very cold outside... which leads to lack of sleep). My hubby pointed out to me the other day, 'The whole front of our house has no insulation as it is all glass, so we loose alot of heat there'. We have chosen now, to live as we intend to, once we make our move. We believe it is better (for us) to get into the mindset, or develop a pattern of living at this time, which will result in a bit easier living as we move into a more challenging environment.
The first week of November, 2010, I began to not feel well. Not the common cold, stomach flu, or even tiredness, but pain. Pain is a sign that your body is telling you something is wrong. It needs attention now.
The high stress of managing a once successful small business which now is hanging by threads (due to economic crash 2007), fragmented extended family relationships, studying for my final exam and desperately wanting to get it, seeing my brother in law loosing his battle with cancer (heart wrenching), understanding where this country is heading, and the financial setback of our 'time frame' for moving, (which passed), I suspect...
I allowed it *ALL* to get to me.
At my lowest point, at the end of November, I put on paper the following:
Journal Entry of Thoughts~November 29, 2010
I'm over my head and sinking fast. For the past month, I have not felt physically well. I seem to have acquired a pain that is uncommon to me; the pain under my rib does not seem to ease.
I believe the pain is due to stress, fear, and anger.
I feel as if I have battle fatigue.
Traveling with my best friend, into this self-sustaining way of life, has broadened my shoulders and toughened me to where I do not even recognize myself, but not as of late.
I am worn down.
Since dedicating myself to our journey, I push myself to 'Do Better', 'Get Educated', 'Understand', 'Seek Truth', and lastly, 'Don't Be Fooled'.
Within our change of lifestyle, my eyes have been opened to many things I never knew existed or even functioned. I was ignorant. Things have been wrong for a very long time.
These days I consider myself to be very 'aware', though not fully understanding... yet.
Turmoil of anger, fear, and hopelessness I have gained with this awareness. I feel it echo through my body in a harmful vibration. I can't seem to shake it.
I pray for help.
I want peace.
Where is that peace I once knew?
Our Heavenly Father seems so distant. Life seems so dark.
I ask for help to be stronger. I need courage to continue.
I recite the verse Joshua 1:9 Be strong and courageous: Do not be terrified; Do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you where ever you go.
I wonder now, what is the Lord's plan for this new awareness?
Several days after journaling my thoughts to paper and praying scripture, the pain began to lessen. Praise the Lord!
Two weeks into November, I changed my diet completely. My diet mainly consisted of fresh oranges and fresh carrot juice, herbs for relaxing, and daily Castor Oil pack to my rib area. I did not have an appetite for anything else. My body felt like it needed cooling...it felt hot internally (not a fever), and definitely out of balance.
The fresh orange is one of our Heavenly Father's greatest gifts to us. It contains predigested nutrients which are immediately accepted into the human body. The fresh orange strengthens the body and is rich in alkalizing salts. The fresh carrot juice is loaded with potassium, sodium, and calcium, as well as many other nutrients the body requires for health. It is very good for the mucus membranes, and great cleanser for the lymph, blood, and liver. (Note: before this point in time, I never had a desire to drink carrot juice. It was not appealing to me. However, when I first drank it, I found that I craved the taste, and could not get enough. Now, I continue to drink it every morning and sometimes, even at night).
Fresh fruit or fresh vegetable juices are very good for the body, as they don't require the body to 'work' (digest) to get the nutrients. When a person is not feeling well, I believe it is a good idea to let the body rest, and not over load it with work (digesting food). Our Heavenly Father has created our bodies beautifully AND amazing in its functions. We as humans have a huge habit of destroying 'His' creations.
Although I eat healthy, I believe due to the high stress I allowed to take hold, my body turned toward acidic conditions, which is very bad. That is when disease can take hold. I continue daily to watch the stress load. When things get too much at work, I make sure that night, I do something I really enjoy. I also make sure to get time in on the treadmill at night. So far it has been helping. Glory to our Heavenly Father!
~Our kitchen table 'look' for the past one and a half months~
~Between study breaks... I quilt~
(Note: ignore the date...it is incorrect)
As of late, I have decided for my best interest, to keep my mind on the future, and leave behind those that do not see eye to eye. I have given alot of myself, more than I should have. It is a fault of my own.
I was completely amazed to have passed my first semester of school with a 95 percent. I am very relieved. I worried. My hubby was not surprised. He had more confidence in me, than I did.
~January 8, 2011 was the first time I baked bread since October, 2010~
~An added treat... "Rustic Mountain Fruit Cake' ...for hubby~
I wish each of you peace and wellness this coming year!
Until next time,
Lord's Blessings to You!
Where there is faith, there is love.
Where there is love, there is peace.
Where there is peace, there is God.
Where there is God, there is no need.